My thirteen year old son Daniel is quite a little song and dance man, having starred in numerous musicals, so I wasn’t surprised when he was among five kids chosen from his theater group to audition for a Disney project in New York City. They all felt they did well at the auditions, and the instructions from the producer were straightforward — «callbacks» would be made between 3 and 4 o’clock Tuesday, and if you don’t get a call, you didn’t make the cast.
The time on Tuesday came and went, and our phone never rang — the instant messages flew back and forth, and it turns out that all of his friends were called back…except Dan. Unaccustomed to being cut, he kept his chin up, but was visibly upset.
Defeat and failure are part of life, and contain many lessons to make us stronger, more patient, and wiser. Look, for example, at the recent baseball playoffs. In both leagues, teams with long and proud traditions, but also with the identities of second place finishers, found a way to fulfill their prophecy. Both the Red Sox and the Cubs were in position to win until the very last, when somehow victory eluded them again. They’ll have to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back to the business of planning for their next opportunity. I mean, what else is there? Only quitting, and that’s not part of the vocabulary of anyone who intends to be a champion someday, no matter what the present circumstances. The Sox and Cubbies will be back next year, determined to win.
And that’s exactly what I told Daniel — that not every day’s pay day, that sometimes there’s a good reason why things don’t work out as you originally plan, and that part of growing up is realizing that it doesn’t always go your way, and that you can still show up with dignity and self esteem and positive expectancy for the next time. We agreed that the whole audition process is more about taste than about talent, and that he’ll have many more chances to show what he can do. He handled it all very maturely, and I was very proud of him.
Anyway, the next day, a call came in from a very apologetic producer. «I’m so sorry,» he said, «once we picked the leads for the three plays, the directors were fighting over some of the kids for the other parts, and we couldn’t get all the decisions made by yesterday — we want Dan for the ensemble of Jungle Book.» I started to give him a load about leaving Dan hanging, but I figured, why aggravate my kid’s boss?
We face big and small challenges throughout our lives, and how we respond to adversity tells us a lot about our character. When things go wrong, it’s a great time to remember all we have to be grateful for, to learn, and to look toward the future with hope and optimism. If you want to change your energy of attraction to make things better, start by making sure to keep your best attitude. Ultimately, how often you win will depend on how much «you» you bring to the table, and you can’t afford to squander any of your valuable resources on whining or sulking. Get back in there, because the only real way to lose is to be out of the game entirely. Play hard, do your best, and take the rest in stride. Go Yanks!
Dennis Perman DC, for The Masters Circle
PS You’ve probably already heard about The Masters Circle Third Annual SuperConference — this one is going to be the biggest and best yet, with over 1800 already registered! This will be a tremendous program, with top shelf presenters, like Guy Riekeman, Wayne Dyer, Larry Markson, Bob Hoffman, Patrick Gentempo, Bill Esteb, Jack Canfield — what a line-up! Please call 800-451-4514, or visit our website at themasterscircle.com for more information or to register.
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