Dear Doctor:
Of all the “people skills” you can learn to improve your practice, confrontational tolerance is one of the most valuable and perhaps one of the most misunderstood. Confrontation does not mean fighting…it does not mean arguing, and it does not involve anger.
Confrontation simply means facing something – addressing it head on, so you can evaluate the situation properly, and take the appropriate actions. Whether you want to ask for a referral, deliver a report of findings, train an assistant or collect money, you’ll need to be able to confront productively.
The main obstacle to confrontation is fear, and fear is nothing more than a feeling of being unprepared. So, here are some tips for preparing for typical confrontations in your office.
First, you must get yourself into a resourceful state – think of times you were confident, centered, sure of yourself. Adjust your mind and body to be more like that, so you have access to your best self for the confrontation.
Next, you must prepare, by anticipating what could happen and planning your dialogue in advance – this kind of rehearsed scripting makes you feel better equipped when the actual confrontation occurs. Visualize the scene of the confrontation, and see yourself interacting with certainty, focus and effortless ease. See the scene going to completion with a desirable conclusion.
Now that you’ve managed your state and prepared for the confrontation, have the encounter. Make sure you’re clear about the outcome you desire, and gain rapport with the person by matching and mirroring his or her pace, posture and facial expression. Size up who you’re dealing with, and get leverage by demonstrating how what you are proposing helps that individual get something he or she already wants – in other words, support a value for the person, so he or she has a reason to comply with you. Ask questions instead of telling – by shaping the conversation through your questions, you’ll retain control, and also guide the discussion the way you prefer. Be flexible, yet congruent – when two people are in rapport, the more congruent prevails – in other words, the person with more certainty tends to direct the flow of energy and action. When you see your chance to make your points, seize the opportunity, and say what needs to be said, matching tone as you go.
After the confrontation, think back over it, to notice if there’s any need for clean-up, apology, or reframing. Confronting effectively is not only about winning, it’s about learning diplomacy, sportsmanship, ring generalship, tact and courage. It’s about elegant timing, about staying centered in the face of adversity – but most of all, it’s about getting things done.
Learning to confront is essential for success and fulfillment in practice. By virtue of the outstanding work you do, you are entitled to define the boundaries of your practice and your life. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will? Refine and master this simple model, and you’ll decrease your stress and improve your results, one confrontation at a time.
Dennis Perman DC, for The Masters Circle<>p/>
PS Our second quarter seminar series is about to begin – “Power Tools for a Mega Practice” is filled with practical, powerful, profitable techniques for practice growth and management. Two of our guest speakers are Dr. Tedd Koren, patient education researcher extraordinaire, and Life West President Dr. Gerry Clum, presenting the cutting edge of X-ray technology -- for information or to register, please call 1-800-451-4514 or visit our website at themasterscircle.com. See you there!
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
